The 28th Anniversary of the International Malted Wild Tiger

28 years ago an 8 months Mexican baby was struggling between life and death as an abnormal heart beating manifested and required an urgent and immediate extraction procedure to live. A soul that wanted to get out right away, that couldn’t take it anymore and just wanted freedom without giving a fuck about any consequences. A bold and unbeatable essence that remains up today. Causing high levels of stress and breaking the ladies heart with a charming smile since 1989.

28 years. Fuck mate. Where has all this time gone?! 2 years ago I was in Mexico celebrating getting accepted into the program I’m about to finish now and having a relationship proposal of the ex-significant other (miss you “J”), last year I was enjoying my favorite whisky with a bastard who has become one of my best comrades in lovely Sweden. Cheers bro “M”. Today I am in Greece writing code for my thesis, drinking wine and eating cake and looking at my bracelet present from the current and lovely flat mates. You bloody rock “K” and “D”! 10 years ago I was completely excited to obtain my officially grown up ID known as IFE in the home land. That magical piece of plastic that would open the gates to every adult entertainment media and liquids. The evidence of being a young adult, with 17 facial hairs ready to conquer the world, study a career and think that 10 years later I would be the manager in a nice job, have a family, a lovely wife, a Porsche, the pets, the money, be part of the system and say a happy good bye. Mate it sounded so good back then LOL.

Isn’t it just bizarre and amazing how the years can just blow your mind and take you to paths you literally never thought you would be walking in? Thinking: – how the fuck did I think of that?- And smile about it!?

Well chiquillas y chiquillos, for those of you who know me you could tell how cocky egocentric piece of jerk scumbag I am or can be. But when it comes to my birthday, for me it is a day where I actually sit down and evaluate everything that has happened during this year. How?. Why?. Why not?. A day where I judge, assess and analyze in a cold way the overall performance of myself with no excuses. So…to be fair? there are not enough words to fucking thank life for everything that I received during this year. I had very very BLOODY FUCKING terrible and dark moments yes. Instants where I literally thought I was entirely broken, sunk in darkness and thought I was not going to be able to stand up and keep walking. Several winks where shit, they felt like a K.O. just one after another and another and another. A year well I truly put myself to test, where I just had to force myself to go beyond any limit I though I had, academically, physically, mentally, internally.

This is where the cocky part plays the game because to be honest? karma paid off to this lucky bastard and among some stuff, I was able to be present in my brother’s wedding, I passed the most difficult and annoying test I’ve ever written, I managed to stay in this program until the end, I’ve learned so much engineering shit, I’ve eaten incredible and exotic food, traveled with my another brother, received the unique chance of traveling around the world and seen the most incredible stars of the planet, walked through ancient wanders of the world, met absolutely amazing people from all over the world…but to be honest? I’ve learned…to truly connect with my planet and with my people. One day someone from Moldavia (“O”) told me just after 20 minutes of knowing each other: -I think success is not how much money you have, how many girls you’ve slept with, not even how many countries you’ve visited…yes, self love is vital but I also think it is about how people feel when they’re around you…if they’re happy and smiling because of you? Maybe you’re doing a good job! :)- I was speechless, I just couldn’t say any word. And no, it is not that I’m saying that everybody around me feels aroused by all the stupid funny random bullshit I use to say everyday or that I’m trying to achieve that; it is not that I know plenty of people or anything stupid like it; it is the fact that life is giving me the chance of truly connecting with people, of truly leaving a mark and make an actual difference, and that maybe just maybe it might be working.

But is it then always happiness and optimism and positive mentality and fucking fat cats and fat unicorns with cute pandas flying in my mind? Unfortunately or fortunately not.

Academically speaking? This last year I’ve been in a situation where after being either number 1 or at least top 3? I was just not even close to be in first half. Studying things I first saw as glyphs, dealing with engineering shit I literally thought I would never deal with. I felt like a piece of useless junk unable to solve anything. Failed tests. Incapable of finding the correct or even the enough motivation to study and advance as I thought I knew surrounded by totally brilliant people who knew (or seemed like) how to deal with this shit. People who became close to me and told me at certain points: -you can quit if you want, but you’d be a complete stupid if you do that because you have the brain and the guts to complete this. No excuses- A summer internship where I learned so much and got so frustrated with no significant results because of stupid reasons and thought again it was my lack of competence. A change to an entirely new country, new system, new rules, new people. A year full of changes, of challenges, of obstacles, of fire rings. And hell a year where I was lucky enough to have the correct people around me, to open my eyes in vital moments and was able to overcome most of those intense instants. But thesis is here, so this has just started.

Emotionally speaking? What a fucking roller coaster. My biggest dream of traveling around the world achieved? Come on, I sometimes still find it difficult to believe it until I see the pictures of the countries I’ve been to already. I’m lucky to have met complete strangers that changed completely my way of thinking and my way of living my life in a matter of minutes. People who I think made me a better human being. 21 new countries in my list. Probably around 100 cities if I put all my life together. Festivals including Foo Fighters and Tomorrowland. Wanders of the world and many many many flying hours. No complains at all on the adventurous and wild side.

But what about love? It still really amazes me how this chemical reaction in the brain can cause such powerful belief and make you go crazy. But it seems like a curse you know? Every single time I seem to find some peace ka-FUCKING-boom, something ridiculous and unfortunate happens that it just ends it. Sex is not the issue, I’m someone who stopped counting after 15. But love love like actual love is still something quite not well understood for me or at least either I’m too stupid and naive or it seems I still haven’t managed to know how to react to love these days. I’ve been the bad boy, the good boy, the rockstar, the nerd. Today I’m just fucking myself and I don’t give a shit on anything else, I’m authentic, smart and smiley as it can gets. But it is still apparently not enough. From not being capable to go for the ones who like me and appreciate me because I’m simply too stupid, to falling for exactly those who have a sign on their foreheads that say: “trouble”, “I don’t like short men”, “I’m in a relationship”, “I really like you but I won’t do it cuz I don’t know why”. And shit like that. A year where I got my ego somewhat fissured when a significant-crush denied to travel around the world because #fucklogics.

A year where love knocked the door. I’ve had the chance of hanging out and finish up in mutual amusement with incredibly attractive and very interesting girls. Specially one with whom I madly and unexpectedly fell in love with in fucking matter of some weeks because #yolo. I guess what they say about “when it happens, happens” is true. In my naive and obnoxious defense my core felt as I finally found someone with whom I could talk and laugh with random shit until 4 am, talk about smart engineering; someone who expressed her wishes of conquering the world, of going out, of accomplishing dreams and who seemed as crazy and ambitious as myself in similar ways. Someone with whom at the beginning everything looked just like a bad timing situation but in the end it was as real as my lack of beard, but apparently not as strong as I thought, and finished up sunk with me rejected in alcohol and tears for several days without being able to understand the universe. I should have read the signs like the ones aforementioned, but life is like that. Somedays you’re flying and some others you’re crawling. But no failure, no regret at all, it’s another stripe to the tiger. Only a big lesson learned, a drawer for the good moments lived and a new procedure for heart healing preparing it for the next, hopefully not, catastrophe. And to you who wished happiness and success? No need, but I’m truly grateful with you for making me feel such strong and marvelous thing. I keep my position of yourself being as one of the most incredible aspects of my life. I truly hope one day you let yourself understand that no matter how, or why, even when life is entirely weird? My eyes were real, your eyes were real.

For disclosure, this has probably been the most fluctuating year of my entire life, with emotional stuff being the Oscar award winner. And I bloody love it’s like that. It’s intense, it’s unpredictable, it’s crazy. During the last month I have met an insane amount of people from all over the globe. Interesting, insane and some might even as bold as me or more. These 28 years start and promise to be even a greater year than the previous one and I can’t just bloody wait for it.

I am more grateful than ever with my life, literally there are no words to thank enough, other than waking up everyday, look up to the sky, no matter if it’s a sad day, a happy day, an angry day, a bright day, a dark day. It’s for something good and it will always get better; it’s a matter of wanting freedom, of living the present, of wanting to live and not giving a fuck about consequences (sometimes at least) just like 28 years ago. I might be an annoying complainer of emotional things who forgives but who never forgets. Working on that. I could also be an eternal dreamer, a wanderer, a crazy mother fucker living it up. I wish life give me more years to continue living that way.

So to all the magical and far away places that welcomed me with arms wide open, to every fucking equation, simulation, exam and project and specially to literally all the people who went through my life this year who support me and who stand my annoying and obnoxious being. To the new friends, new family members and to the yet to be discovered corners of the world; to the amazing momondo team!; to life and to the universe:

Gracias, gracias por todo, gracias por tanto, gracias por esto.

Wanna conquer the world? Follow me, let’s do it together.

The impetuous, unbreakable and stupid fellow.

December. Christmas. What a bloody cool time of the year this is. My favorite part is the food. And also when people magically unite, eat dinner in peace, laugh, share. Unfortunately it is not like this for all the people of the world, joy comes with suffering, sadness, loneliness, it is a matter of equilibrium of the equation. Fucked up I must say, but real. It is also a month where there are a lot of confessions, of opening emotions, of revelations. Which is why I prefer the food.

Last year I was lucky enough to have an amazing trip around United Kingdom, Ireland and Germany. I saw friends from old times, I saw friends from current times, I saw amazing places and landscapes, I lived and rushed through flights, delicious food, white beer, the best whisky of the world, medieval castles and highland cows. The funny and weird part is that I did it alone.

You see, I am indeed a travel addict, a person who wants to conquer the world, a simple man who would love to save the planet through technology and engineering development, and as very close friends described some hours ago, I do know how to treat with people and do whatever it takes to make my friends happy, to make them smile. Having said that, through all my travels (which have been so far to around 15 countries and counting) I have been very lucky to meet nice people, good people; to those who know me, it is not difficult for me to approach a total stranger and ask  how is the day going, what do they do, what is their favorite thing in the world, what do they recommend about the place I am in. As the same friends aforementioned also said, I always love, I always give, I am so brutally honest and authentic that it is not easy to tell if I am indeed fake or not, because people is simply not used to be treated with the truth, to be actually listened to, to be in fact treated as they deserve. This egocentric prick I am sometimes, is actually just a solid effort of being a good man, of being a decent person, of being happy and provide happiness.

But where the fuck am I going with all this rubbish? Well, I was just remembering that after the astounding xmas travel of last year, I felt just miserable as soon as I returned home. Because I was alone. Maybe I’m just being ridiculous and silly and over-thinking this stuff, you might even say “but mate, you can be happy by yourself, when you love yourself, nothing else matters”, to what I would nod and agree. Maybe I’m just another selfish soul that just wants company sometimes because specially traveling by yourself could be a bloody staggering experience provided you know how to deal with entire loneliness. Maybe, just maybe, today is a weird day where I open myself, that I am being 100% emotional and would actually like to experience being at the top of the mountain with someone holding my hand and kissing my ugly face. As a matter of fact, after that travel I said to myself I would not travel alone again because…#samba, to what life responded with a huge “LOL” and made my biggest dream come true.

 

So as xmas approaches again, I will find myself wandering at the Sahara desert and some other remarkable african destinations and I just cannot wait. Happy. In peace. And ironically alone. (Not complaining at all! you’re the best #momondo)

I am a true believer that things always have a reason to be, that life provides and that it is up to us to get perspective and to do stuff. I have learned that there are just no excuses. At. All. (Cheers you Kiwi!) We should not stay behind the line, we should just stand up, take that leap, DO, SPEAK, KISS, DANCE. No excuses. I might be an annoying, too optimistic, absolutely intense and unstable lucky human being that will indeed travel around almost the entire globe trying to transmit my happiness. I might be a too radical individual that thinks we humans can become better if we just would stop finding stupid reasons to not do what we truly feel we need to do. I might think this way because I feel I am unbreakable, invincible. Of course I am not, but I am simply not afraid of trying. I am a stupid and impetuous fellow unafraid to take the fall.

So perhaps today was just one of those days where the year is finishing and the mind just loves to mess around and creates an effect of thinking “what the hell am I doing with my life, where am I going, why not even pigeons love me”. Perhaps one day, I will actually be able to share what I see, what I feel, what I hear and smell and hopefully it will be with a big eyes and cute smile lovely woman. Perhaps not and it will be with a cat. But alone or not, today, I will be delighted if you decide to join me, to smile and infect the world with happiness.

Coffee just kicked in. Are you in?

dance-like-nobody-is-worried-youre-about-to-injure-yourself-T4I.gif

 

 

The histrionic chronicles: Bergamo

This section is purely devoted to those awkward, emotional and strange moments of my life, that gave me a nervous laugh while feeling head over heels for someone. Some come from life, some others are extracts of my travel journal. Hope you enjoy.

Bergamo, Italy. 29.10.16 at around 12:00 pm

I just found a lovely bench to sit down on the eastern side of the city, and take out my journal to keep documenting the first days of my “all around the world” trip. As I was enjoying the sun and watching and old lady feeding some cats, it happened.

A blonde, tall and blue eye enchanting girl sits on the bench in front of me. She has a black and white stripe dress, black tights and black nike sneakers and she is eating an ice cream. I am flabbergasted.

On the other side of the bench, there is a metal fence and then a cliff, consequence of the upper city architecture. Out of the blue, a black donkey emerges from the hill and approaches to her, seeking to be petted. She smiles, she takes a picture and indeed pets him. Her smile denotes tenderness towards the cute donkey and this is the first time she looks at my stupid face, fascinated by her and her smile. I drop my pen and become clumsy. -What is her favorite band? What is her biggest dream?-. I think to myself. I don’t want to look like a stalker and a perv, but I cannot stop looking at her and I bet my face is the one of a total fool. Very discretely, basically undetectable, she moves her eyebrows and her eyes as if she is having a tremendous internal debate with her, as if she is talking with herself. It just looks as crazy as when I do it with myself.

She looks at me another second and yet again, I cannot maintain her eye-sight and I look down. It is fucking embarrassing, and the only thing I do is to drink water while my legs are just not responding. I don’t even know how to approach her and she knows, I know she knows. She finishes her ice cream and leaves. I managed to stand up 3 min. after but of course, she is not anywhere close. I said to myself that if I ever see her again I will talk to her.

I sigh.

Around 4:00 pm

I find myself right in the heart of the “Piazza Vecchia”, eating an orgasmic salmon kind of pizza, an amazing “merengue” candy and singing “Stairway to heaven” of my favorite band as a street musician goes crazy with the solo. I close my eyes, look up, take a deep breathe and smile as the song finishes.

And is if it was part of a bizarre high school theatre play, there she was, walking a couple of meters towards the “Duomo”. I freeze and think that it is one of those moments when life smiles, like when your mom agrees to take you to SixFlags after 3 months of trying everyday. Hence, my brain gave me an electrical chill and said “go and talk to her”. She was standing right in the middle of the piazza and as I approached, she looked at me and laughed discreetly. Again, I knew she knew.

Ciao! Parla italiano? Or english?- I said. -Hi, english yes, a little bit!- she responds smiling as my brain just got literally electroshocked and there is a “Technical fault, please stand by” message in my head as her blue eyes point towards me. Her name is Tiana (or maybe Tjana?) and is from Austria, I start talking very fast and asking many questions, one of them is that she looks like a very interesting person and if I could interview her as part of my travel, to what (obviously normal) her reaction was to laugh and an expression of “what the fuck?”. She responds kindly that she would definitely like to go and talk somewhere else but that unfortunately her train is leaving within the next minutes and she was already on her way to the station, (which takes a while if you’re walking or if you wait for the bus). -Well that’s a pity but no worries! I do wish you a lovely trip- I said, while my internal systems were still struggling to keep it together. -I’m so sorry! Really I would stay but I need to go – she says. I grab her hand, tell her that it was a pleasure to meet her and we both leave.

As she walks down towards the exit of the square, I turned to see her again. She turns too. I smile and she smiles back as she keeps walking.

I did not ask for her number, or fb or anything, because I wanted it to remain it that way. I will definitely never know if she was indeed attracted/interested towards me, if this was just another typical episode of saying “not interested/fuck off” politely or if this was indeed a corresponded emotional moment. A pure and authentic moment that I will never forget.

Un amor de esos que duran sólo un instante, pero que te hacen sonreír por siempre.

 

The THRUSTers

My beloved lectores, first of all, I missed you like a crazy wild naked man who enjoys being in the middle of the forest. My apologies for not typing anything during the last 3 months as I found myself going bloody nuts studying for (so far) the hardest 2 final exams I’ve ever done. There is no better feeling than going out of the last exam, look at the sky and listen to the voice of Ben Wallace screaming “LIBERTAAAD” (it sounds better in spanish sorry) in the head. A temporary study-free man. Hell yes.

But to business.

As some of you might already know, I am studying an engineering master program in turbomachinery and aeromechanics whose acronym is THRUST.

The NASA guys describe thrust as a mechanical force, such that the propulsion system is in physical contact with a working fluid in order to produce it. For instance, it is the force that moves an aircraft through the air as the engine does work, accelerates the gas, and thrust is generated in opposite direction from the accelerated gas, nowadays this is done with turbomachines. In other words, thrust is the force that makes you move forward and brake the fucking space time sound barrier in a plane so as to save the 8th dimension from Boromir and yes. Science.

The magic of the program (at least for me) is not the academics part itself. Yes, it is very interesting to learn a lot about turbomachinery and how you can generate such huge amount of power to provide electricity, thrust in an aircraft, power in a gas turbine, high compression-ratios to internal combustion engines, bla bla bla, and of course to benefit people and the world and feed the wallet of the bastards who run a business related with all these. But where is the magic then? The people. Yes. The people.

Since the beginning of my days in school, I have always been one of those guys who are among the top 3, who didn’t need to study more than a couple of hours for a “tough” test, who got asked by the others how to do this and that. I was always used to being the brainy egocentric prick guy who just would achieve a very good grade plus being popular enough to enjoy life and get wasted on a weekend basis. And for such a naive mind who had a bit of working aviation experience and was about to cross the atlantic for the 2nd time and start a master program, well…I thought “this will be hard, but not that hard” as I have thought for basically all the previous years.

Oh bloody hell was I mistaken.

The very first lecture we had, 5 minutes went by, and shit, my mind thought “what the actual fuck is this guy talking about”. Then I said to me to relax, it’s the 1st day, it’s a matter of reading the material and catch up on the rusty academical field. But then I realized that the other 10 who also study with me, actually understood most of what the professor said. Hollow and hopeless. That’s exactly how I felt.

You might think “you’re such an exaggerating nerd person ” but hey, despite my empire-state size ego, I have always being hard and demanding enough with myself when it comes to achieve what I want.

The months went by and time did not prove me wrong. I was NOT the smartest guy in the classroom. Nor in the top 3. Not even close. A huge life change game who made me re-evaluate the entire situation of what I was doing, why, where, with what people I was dealing with, and the golden questions: am I good enough for this? Am I really that smart ass I have always thought I was? I honestly felt I didn’t know who I was anymore and thus, didn’t know how to address this problem. I had to overcome it, I had to push the re-boot button and start from zero again. I had to re-define myself.

And then, as the months kept going by, the relationships and friendship with the people of the program increased in a very good way. I was learning from them. Instead of losing myself directly into an infinite singularity vortex, I admired these people, the way they studied, the way the focused, the way they even helped me to be better at what I was doing, to aim for a better result, for success. Everyday.

So now I will talk of each country of them as if I was speaking from them, not to judge, not to criticize, but to actually thank them for everything they did directly and indirectly that made me not only to jump high, but for the first time to feel that I was being thrusted forward by a huge power engine.

Ireland: The very first time I talked to him by whatsapp before arriving to Sweden, I instantly thought “what a fucking prick”. LOL. I was basically sure we wouldn’t get along the entire year we would be studying together. Yet again, I was so mistaken. A fucking smart ass person. The first time we went to a trip together was to Estonia in a fun hell drinking karaoke wasted cruise trip. And it was just brilliant. I spent a couple of days in Ireland with his family in December, an unforgettable trip to the arctic circle, an incredible mountain hiking weekend in Germany, plus many parties and aeroelasticity and turbomachinery problems. This person reminded me the very high importance of being a good person with everyone. One could be egocentric and would love to show off to others the smartness, but that is not a reason to make less of the others, nor to walk around threatening people and miss-trusting as if everyone is the enemy, as I did. I lived shit high adrenaline moments while hiking and exploring with this guy, which expanded a lot my vision of life. Life is to enjoy and to live, nothing less. A chronicle of our rise to power brother!!

New Zealand: My upcoming roommate in the 2nd year greek adventure. I certainly didn’t have the chance of knowing deeply this person, but I can say that there is no one I know who is nicer with people. I am a very optimistic and smiley person, but New Zealand? She always tried to put the good chick even when going through very very very sad shit. Smart as hell, yet very relaxed and confident somehow that life would just provide. A person who would help me to solve an equation, a life problem or just listen or read my shit issues gladly. Someone who has a looot to give and wouldn’t care of taking anything from you. Also, adventurous and crazy in such a way that with a broken ankle injury, would go and hike into Norway and the  swedish arctic circle because…well…because it just sounds bloody amazing. Can’t wait to climb the olympus together.

Spain: Oh boy this will be hard. I will be talking in plural now. One of them is I would say the smartest person I’ve ever met in my life. The most emotionally intense and with such a temper as well. Easy to get along with, very difficult to maintain it in that way. Ups? Our ways of looking at life and of course the previous experiences I think made us to be somewhat a bit distant from each other after certain point of the year. Nevertheless, a person who would help you literally as much as it can get and ensure that you’re doing ok. Someone who would listen and hug you whenever you need. Different frequencies, but we had crazy and very interesting moments didn’t we?

The other one is also one of the most unexpectedly fucking smart shit persons I know. I say this only because of the background we have in terms of our academic careers. He is just one of the most determined persons I know; if he wants it, he will do everything he can to get it, no matter what. He knows how to perfectly separate what is important and what is not. The biggest “Real Madrid” fan I know. The biggest defender of Spain itself I know. “Toca pelear chaval”. I will never forget him saying those words the day we wrote the advanced finite element final after he got freaking hammered the day before because his football team won the Champions League. And he bloody passed. Trips, parties, homework and aerodynamics suffering. I will always be thankful for this friendship and hope he learns the proper and correct spanish (mexican of course). Te veo en la graduación hermano, rómpela siempre!

Germany/Russia: This person is just amazing. It just staggered me everyday how smart he is. The way he addresses any problem, the way he focuses, the way he would study for a test and the way he would drink vodka in one night. Someone who I’m sure will really make a big difference in terms of engineering and technology research, I’m almost sure I will be asking him for a job at some point of my life. I remember being intimidated when asking him a question of the homework just because I didn’t want him to think I was stupid. A person who really cares for the ones closer to him. Delicious russian food, trips and freaking amazing parties in Germany and in Sweden are just a tiny part of the shared memories. Thank you for showing me the kindness and love brother, I do not wish you luck because you don’t need it at all. Na zdorovie tovarishch, spasibo za vse!!

Pakistan: This guy was like the good and nice but not crazy uncle of the family. A very very very smart person who would gladly help you and ensure that you freaking understand every single detail of what he tries to explain. Like the perfect professor. I really enjoyed that he was always laughing and singing pakistani songs. It put me in a very good mood. Deadly moves while playing table tennis. A legend. His wife cooks the best pakistani food I’ve ever tasted, plus, a tupperware of 1.5 L with pakistani food was given to me just because they enjoyed that I liked it. I certainly look forward to share more cool moments with you my friend. Opa!

India: The biggest troop of the group. The curry bringers. The indian beatles. It is actually somewhat funny and weird how indians behave. Most of the indians (if you have had the chance of knowing indians) are actually very calmed and even introverted. They would smile, they would talk with you and smile but they would almost never go out to the parties or clubs or whatever. It’s not that common. Equally, a common indian would really smell like curry all around. But these lads wouldn’t at all (which for me was just perfect). So when (at least 1 of them) you see an indian trying to learn salsa with 5 beers and half up the head and saying “this is awesome”, well, it’s just pure magic. I certainly always had a very decent and nice relationship with these lads. The food they brought to school was always fantastic. One of them drunk crazy mother fucker will be actually my roommate too. All these guys are really smart too and have a big heart. I do wish them all the best to the different destinations they go.

Mexico: The truth is that I did not write a blog about this earlier because I really didn’t feel I quite belong to the group in terms of, I’m just not smart enough; so I really told me that I had to face this challenge and prove them and specially prove myself that I’m capable of this stuff, that there is a 200,000 rpm running squirrel in my head that can actually make me be smart enough to say that I am indeed a THRUSTer. And this time, time proved me right. After finishing the 1st year with a lot of struggle and studying the entire summer to do these last 2 fucking hard as shit final exams and feel that thing that makes you say “You fucking did it” it’s just priceless. But I certainly wasn’t able to do this alone; at some point I even thought of quitting but my family and closer friends were always supporting me from father Mexico, but the fact that the ones I consider the closer ones within the THRUSTers, would say to me “dude you’re not stupid, if you quit you will regret it, you can do this and you will do this because you’re a smart guy”, damn…I do think that all that is, what really brought me to the main message I want to give with this post:

In moments when you feel you cannot do it, in those times when you think you’re done, in those eternal hours when it looks like nothing could be worse for you?…Believe in yourself; look yourself into the mirror, right into the eye, and believe. Trust in yourself. Work hard, do, BUT REALLY, do what you know it’s required to do so as to achieve your goals. It will be hard, sometimes painful and exhausting. It will take more than everything you got, but do NOT give up and LISTEN to the people close to you. Sometimes you might think you’re alone, but you’re not. And then ask yourself: What the fuck are you waiting for? don’t be lame and common and go and grab accomplish what you want. Do NOT let anyone nor anything to stop you.

Thank you my dear THRUSTers for teaching me, for supporting me, for standing me, for being there, you know I wish you all love and good vibes directly from my heart. I’ve never felt so confident of what I can do, of who I am, of what I need to do to be better, but I know there is a lot to be done. I just hope that someday I can re-pay you all you did for me and also to be able of inspiring people around me and share everything I’ve learned from you.

De corazón, muchas gracias a todos!!

“If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit”

William J. Clinton

Tomorrowland Brasil 2015

The 27th floor.

27 years old. That age which according to many “standard” opinions of society, you’re supposed to be right in the path of settlement, transforming yourself into a total grown up, combing your hair everyday, having or seeking a good job and of course a stable relationship; some are getting engaged, married, even with kids. FB status and pictures saying “YES” or “I DO” everywhere. It is also a stage where people say stuff to you like “AH you’re just one step closer to the 3rd floor!” or “27? oh god, well do you remember that list of things to do before you become 30?” and my personal favorite “27…and you’re single?”. It is indeed a very annoying social pressure that goes straight onto your shoulders and plays with your mind since it defines you as “old”. My personal opinion? I don’t give a shit about that and ask you to listen “I just want to celebrate” by Rare Earth right now.

Furthermore, by my age, most of the great genius minds of history already discovered and developed revolutionary ideas like gas turbines, black holes and quantum mechanics theories, and made the world a better and more technological place and yeah, as an engineer, when you remember your last job as being 8 hrs. sitting on a chair in front of a computer well…it is sometimes a bit overwhelming; I do want to make the world a better place but…what if there are other ways to do it?

I confess to you my dear “lectores” that I actually had a recent age crisis and a whole emotional breakdown because I did feel totally lost about my “stable” life (back to the point expressed in previous paragraphs). After coming back from the magical wedding of my brother in Mexico, I spent a couple of entire days in the bed watching “heroic” and motivational movies, just eating nutella, using breaks for aeroelasticity HW and figuring out WTF was going on; then the reality kicked in and understood that my absolutely non-conventional way of thinking and living life is grand. In fact, it is just brilliant. Well, sometimes at least.

For me, a birthday is what for others might be new year’s eve. It is a day in which I look back and review what have I done right, what have I done wrong, what I liked, what I didn’t. For me it is a deep reflexion time and helps me to see where I am, and where I want to go. It is also the perfect excuse to party hard and drink my favorite alcohol.

Despite exactly a year ago, a beautiful mexican girl also known as “J” got me drunk and asked me to be her boyfriend for a limited time contract, I won’t bore you with what happened during the last year, and instead, I will focus on some facts about my present and show off a little bit:

Today I live in Stockholm, Sweden, I don’t have a girlfriend, I certainly don’t feel the need of getting married and the kids window has not even being discovered #fuckno. I live with a student scholarship and struggle with it at the end of every month, sometimes have to study 10 hours for a test and get pissed because of a mediocre grade, perform 8 hour aeromechanics simulations while the sun shines outside. Sometimes I dance and move in the subway when I’m in a good mood while listening to Sex Machine of James Brown in my iPod. I have a loud and honest laugh. I sing while walking on the street, smile and wave at strange people and steal coffee from the professor’s machine. I cannot say I’m not open for love, you never know what will happen, but for now let’s say I’m stimulated in knowing interesting people. Out of and in the bed of course.

Sometimes, it looks like I truly don’t care, like I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, like I’m just letting myself go into the mainstream. #honeybadger. Not entirely true though (although sometimes I don’t give a fuck about some people).

I might not be one of the 21st century great minds, not even close, but it is also true that at my 27 years, I’ve had the incredible chance of visiting 14 different countries and more than 50 cities across the world (and counting), I speak 3 different languages fluently and another 3 with good survival skills, I can cook, dance, play 2 instruments, really appreciate exotic and good food and drinks, prepare delicious cocktails, make people smile with simple stuff, have a decent muscled look and have an IQ of 142. I can box, give awesome massages, appreciate good music; I can give mind-blowing kisses, have received mind-blowing kisses and have shared and done some more with international beautiful female beings (physically and emotionally). I even have lived a couple of times during/aftersex,  that eye-look that drills into your soul and makes you feel totally alive and in peace. I live in the country with the most beautiful women of the planet. I am the fucking 3rd mexican of my whole country that studies a program in aeromechanics and turbomachinery and 6th or 7th of the whole american continent. I have survived 2 times to death events and I know what it is to have fear of dying, I cherish my life with all my strength. And I’m convinced Donald Trump is a complete dickhead.

But even beyond all that, even more importantly for me, I know the meaning of true friendship and true brotherhood. I have a family that loves me and supports me as crazy as I am. I might know what true love is, at least close to it (including chocolate cake and tacos). I know what it means to be surrounded by 200,000 people in a massive music festival and also to be totally on my own thousands of km away from everyone I know, and still feel happy and enjoy it. I have fulfilled many of my dreams and won’t stop now. I’ve felt what it means to be happy. I am happy.

I certainly don’t care about having millions of euros in my account, having a nice loft and a porsche at the garage. Even if that sounds nice and might be feasible one day, it’s definitely not the 1st priority of my life now. At my 27 years old, I have learned that living life is about knowing yourself, accepting yourself, loving yourself and just enjoy that ride. Is about waking up, look yourself at the mirror and say “HEY…YOU’RE DAMN HOT” and believe in yourself, believe you can achieve whatever you want, whenever you want. PLUS it is also about sharing. I might have repeated this a thousand times but people, energy is always transferred and if you’re happy about yourself, you will definitely start a contagious effect and people around you will notice and might feel happier about themselves as well. A matter of energy equilibrium. Next time you’re on the street try to make someone truly smile with a simple detail. A smile, a chocolate, a flower. That is my simple and maybe stupid idea of making the world a better place. A happier place.

Today I feel privileged of driving on this road and I’m more than thankful with my life for everything I’ve experienced, everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve learned and of course I know there is way more to come. So today, in my birthday, I invite you to be strange, to be weird, to think outside the box and to think that “life begins at the end of your comfort zone” (Courtesy of “Z”); to take that risk you’re always been afraid of, to fight for that thing that makes you’re heartbeat sound out loud, to pursue your dreams and not give up.

Life is not always bright, in fact it is sometimes a passive aggressive bitch; so for me it is more a matter of looking the brighter and good side of life. That is what makes me happy, and yeah, maybe one day I’ll be able to share my crazy stuff with another crazy partner, keep traveling the world together and look after baby pandas for a day. Even on a far faaar away day I might be holding a baby that carries my DNA and commit my life to that being. But today, just now, I will enjoy my Glenmorangie 18, smile to life and share this happiness with all of you. I do hope you smile back, that celebrate this day with me and for those also having a birthday today, felicidades cabronas y cabrones.

P.S. Free mind-blowing kisses for my birthday.

The one who stopped taking risks, stopped living life.

Anonymus.

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