Invincible

I find pretty amazing and annoying how the will of writing came to me today at 3:15 in the morning and couldn’t wait for later.

So these last weeks have been….well pretty bizarre and…well not the best of my life haha. Even though i finished the 8th semester of my beloved engineering career, managed to do well on the finals and had a fabulous final grade, well it seemed NOT good enough for my life. Ive been going out with some friends, some beers, parties, blah blah that part is pretty good, i went for a week on vacation to the beach with my best mate and his mistress, it was ok, and weird, drank a lot of beer, smoked a lot of pot, danced a lot of salsa, (ok all that part was fun). BUT well as said before on the love department, my mind had to act pretty fast and immediately occupy itself; and it worked at least for the months i was on school, but now that i had the enough time to THINK and FEEL well….it sucked haha.

Anyway, i think it is obnoxious how your mind and feelings can trick you and betray you so fast, and so bad (of course get worse when you are drunk or high or both).

Back to the blog, I discovered i cannot do anything without a motivation. And maybe I’m not the only one. Check the difference:

When you are like…well happyish, and just do stuff because you have to, and cuz you have no other option well, i mean life goes by and daily activities become “normal”. Theres good stuff, good meals, good places, but thats it, not great, not amazing, not OMG.

When you are inspired by something or someone, you feel you can do anything, you feel every things going to be so good in the end you don’t even care about the results, nor the process, but happiness appears in someway. Unfortunately (as I see it) it disappears and vanishes as fast as it came, maybe cuz you found something more interesting, or cuz you were inspired to do so many things, you can’t finish any of them.

Now…when you are yes inspired, AND (more importantly), when you are motivated by something or by someone, damn, that mixture is the most powerful weapon a human being can ever have. You don’t stop, nothing can stop you. You just take every piece of mind-tool you have to achieve the goals you have in mind, to make that or her/him proud about yourself, to make yourself proud about yourself. And the coolest thing, you do all these stuff for yourself, because you want to do them, not because you were force to do them. You become invincible.

Ok how do i know that and I’m not just writing pure rubbish? A couple of months ago i applied for an internship for the summer. My motivation wasn’t here anymore (in the physical way) but i had it in my mind, and in my heart. Went forward, did the tests, passed, did the interview and waited for an answer for 2 months. I must say i never waited for a job response of this kind ever in my life, i mean, the first thing you are suppose to do after you graduate…before graduating, so it was a new experience. AWFUL experience. You start thinking everyone was accepted but you, that you are not good enough for the job, start thinking about aaaalllll the details on the interview day, blah blah blah. Anyway, yesterday i was then accepted to work on the #1 manufacturing company of steel tubes in the whole American continent. And i cannot stop thinking that i wouldn’t have done it without that motivation and inspiration. Yes i did everything on my own with no help, except for that, motivation and inspiration.

So this is pretty much my first big success as an almost engineer and the way i obtained it. I’m just saying, it may work for everybody.

And of course i must thank you. (Yes I’m referring to the one in her rancho) So, thank YOU.

Let the engineering begins.

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Finals and geekness

A really annoying (yet advantageous) thing about me, is that i HATE bad grades. In mexico grades are from 1 to 10, being 1 the worst 10 the best. I can’t stand getting an 8. I feel so angry, (unless is a Dynamics test of course where 8 means you are the god of gods). Plus, my generation of mechanical engineering students are pretty competitive so it motivates me to NOT get an 8. (What a nerd uh?)

This is the final week of the semester, at last, the work and effort of the whole period is coming to pause. Why do we all have to become so stressed and angry about it? I analyzed myself today and I’ve been so unnecessary these days. Im in a bad mood al the time, i don’t wanna do shit, i feel I’m losing my mind with so much HW and accumulative tests. I say bad words to the computer all the time. I curse the air conditioner. All i think about is “why in the hell I’m here studying when i could be a surfer in Maui?”. Im having the evil look 24/7. + the fact that my sentiment is NOT helping.

I just finished studying for a final heat transfer test for tomorrow. Still need to do 2 lab reports. Again, why the stress? why the need of being better than the others in such a stupid and momentary thing like a test? A test doesn’t measure how smart you are, it measures either if you understood the stuff or if your copying strategy worked out. Is it my pride? My ego? The stupid idea of thinking that having a higher IQ and studying engineering makes me better? (Duschbag), or am i such a nerd that i do like the fact of getting a 10?

But tomorrow is the last day of my tiny hell.

Anyway, ¬†all i really care right now is going to sleep and that tomorrow at this hour ill be so drunk i won’t remember any of this shit.

Good bye 8th semester.

Welcome last 7 months of college.