This section is purely devoted to those awkward, emotional and strange moments of my life, that gave me a nervous laugh while feeling head over heels for someone. Some come from life, some others are extracts of my travel journal. Hope you enjoy.
Bergamo, Italy. 29.10.16 at around 12:00 pm
I just found a lovely bench to sit down on the eastern side of the city, and take out my journal to keep documenting the first days of my “all around the world” trip. As I was enjoying the sun and watching and old lady feeding some cats, it happened.
A blonde, tall and blue eye enchanting girl sits on the bench in front of me. She has a black and white stripe dress, black tights and black nike sneakers and she is eating an ice cream. I am flabbergasted.
On the other side of the bench, there is a metal fence and then a cliff, consequence of the upper city architecture. Out of the blue, a black donkey emerges from the hill and approaches to her, seeking to be petted. She smiles, she takes a picture and indeed pets him. Her smile denotes tenderness towards the cute donkey and this is the first time she looks at my stupid face, fascinated by her and her smile. I drop my pen and become clumsy. -What is her favorite band? What is her biggest dream?-. I think to myself. I don’t want to look like a stalker and a perv, but I cannot stop looking at her and I bet my face is the one of a total fool. Very discretely, basically undetectable, she moves her eyebrows and her eyes as if she is having a tremendous internal debate with her, as if she is talking with herself. It just looks as crazy as when I do it with myself.
She looks at me another second and yet again, I cannot maintain her eye-sight and I look down. It is fucking embarrassing, and the only thing I do is to drink water while my legs are just not responding. I don’t even know how to approach her and she knows, I know she knows. She finishes her ice cream and leaves. I managed to stand up 3 min. after but of course, she is not anywhere close. I said to myself that if I ever see her again I will talk to her.
Around 4:00 pm
I find myself right in the heart of the “Piazza Vecchia”, eating an orgasmic salmon kind of pizza, an amazing “merengue” candy and singing “Stairway to heaven” of my favorite band as a street musician goes crazy with the solo. I close my eyes, look up, take a deep breathe and smile as the song finishes.
And is if it was part of a bizarre high school theatre play, there she was, walking a couple of meters towards the “Duomo”. I freeze and think that it is one of those moments when life smiles, like when your mom agrees to take you to SixFlags after 3 months of trying everyday. Hence, my brain gave me an electrical chill and said “go and talk to her”. She was standing right in the middle of the piazza and as I approached, she looked at me and laughed discreetly. Again, I knew she knew.
Ciao! Parla italiano? Or english?- I said. -Hi, english yes, a little bit!- she responds smiling as my brain just got literally electroshocked and there is a “Technical fault, please stand by” message in my head as her blue eyes point towards me. Her name is Tiana (or maybe Tjana?) and is from Austria, I start talking very fast and asking many questions, one of them is that she looks like a very interesting person and if I could interview her as part of my travel, to what (obviously normal) her reaction was to laugh and an expression of “what the fuck?”. She responds kindly that she would definitely like to go and talk somewhere else but that unfortunately her train is leaving within the next minutes and she was already on her way to the station, (which takes a while if you’re walking or if you wait for the bus). -Well that’s a pity but no worries! I do wish you a lovely trip- I said, while my internal systems were still struggling to keep it together. -I’m so sorry! Really I would stay but I need to go – she says. I grab her hand, tell her that it was a pleasure to meet her and we both leave.
As she walks down towards the exit of the square, I turned to see her again. She turns too. I smile and she smiles back as she keeps walking.
I did not ask for her number, or fb or anything, because I wanted it to remain it that way. I will definitely never know if she was indeed attracted/interested towards me, if this was just another typical episode of saying “not interested/fuck off” politely or if this was indeed a corresponded emotional moment. A pure and authentic moment that I will never forget.
Un amor de esos que duran sólo un instante, pero que te hacen sonreír por siempre.