The 28th Anniversary of the International Malted Wild Tiger

28 years ago an 8 months Mexican baby was struggling between life and death as an abnormal heart beating manifested and required an urgent and immediate extraction procedure to live. A soul that wanted to get out right away, that couldn’t take it anymore and just wanted freedom without giving a fuck about any consequences. A bold and unbeatable essence that remains up today. Causing high levels of stress and breaking the ladies heart with a charming smile since 1989.

28 years. Fuck mate. Where has all this time gone?! 2 years ago I was in Mexico celebrating getting accepted into the program I’m about to finish now and having a relationship proposal of the ex-significant other (miss you “J”), last year I was enjoying my favorite whisky with a bastard who has become one of my best comrades in lovely Sweden. Cheers bro “M”. Today I am in Greece writing code for my thesis, drinking wine and eating cake and looking at my bracelet present from the current and lovely flat mates. You bloody rock “K” and “D”! 10 years ago I was completely excited to obtain my officially grown up ID known as IFE in the home land. That magical piece of plastic that would open the gates to every adult entertainment media and liquids. The evidence of being a young adult, with 17 facial hairs ready to conquer the world, study a career and think that 10 years later I would be the manager in a nice job, have a family, a lovely wife, a Porsche, the pets, the money, be part of the system and say a happy good bye. Mate it sounded so good back then LOL.

Isn’t it just bizarre and amazing how the years can just blow your mind and take you to paths you literally never thought you would be walking in? Thinking: – how the fuck did I think of that?- And smile about it!?

Well chiquillas y chiquillos, for those of you who know me you could tell how cocky egocentric piece of jerk scumbag I am or can be. But when it comes to my birthday, for me it is a day where I actually sit down and evaluate everything that has happened during this year. How?. Why?. Why not?. A day where I judge, assess and analyze in a cold way the overall performance of myself with no excuses. So…to be fair? there are not enough words to fucking thank life for everything that I received during this year. I had very very BLOODY FUCKING terrible and dark moments yes. Instants where I literally thought I was entirely broken, sunk in darkness and thought I was not going to be able to stand up and keep walking. Several winks where shit, they felt like a K.O. just one after another and another and another. A year well I truly put myself to test, where I just had to force myself to go beyond any limit I though I had, academically, physically, mentally, internally.

This is where the cocky part plays the game because to be honest? karma paid off to this lucky bastard and among some stuff, I was able to be present in my brother’s wedding, I passed the most difficult and annoying test I’ve ever written, I managed to stay in this program until the end, I’ve learned so much engineering shit, I’ve eaten incredible and exotic food, traveled with my another brother, received the unique chance of traveling around the world and seen the most incredible stars of the planet, walked through ancient wanders of the world, met absolutely amazing people from all over the world…but to be honest? I’ve learned…to truly connect with my planet and with my people. One day someone from Moldavia (“O”) told me just after 20 minutes of knowing each other: -I think success is not how much money you have, how many girls you’ve slept with, not even how many countries you’ve visited…yes, self love is vital but I also think it is about how people feel when they’re around you…if they’re happy and smiling because of you? Maybe you’re doing a good job! :)- I was speechless, I just couldn’t say any word. And no, it is not that I’m saying that everybody around me feels aroused by all the stupid funny random bullshit I use to say everyday or that I’m trying to achieve that; it is not that I know plenty of people or anything stupid like it; it is the fact that life is giving me the chance of truly connecting with people, of truly leaving a mark and make an actual difference, and that maybe just maybe it might be working.

But is it then always happiness and optimism and positive mentality and fucking fat cats and fat unicorns with cute pandas flying in my mind? Unfortunately or fortunately not.

Academically speaking? This last year I’ve been in a situation where after being either number 1 or at least top 3? I was just not even close to be in first half. Studying things I first saw as glyphs, dealing with engineering shit I literally thought I would never deal with. I felt like a piece of useless junk unable to solve anything. Failed tests. Incapable of finding the correct or even the enough motivation to study and advance as I thought I knew surrounded by totally brilliant people who knew (or seemed like) how to deal with this shit. People who became close to me and told me at certain points: -you can quit if you want, but you’d be a complete stupid if you do that because you have the brain and the guts to complete this. No excuses- A summer internship where I learned so much and got so frustrated with no significant results because of stupid reasons and thought again it was my lack of competence. A change to an entirely new country, new system, new rules, new people. A year full of changes, of challenges, of obstacles, of fire rings. And hell a year where I was lucky enough to have the correct people around me, to open my eyes in vital moments and was able to overcome most of those intense instants. But thesis is here, so this has just started.

Emotionally speaking? What a fucking roller coaster. My biggest dream of traveling around the world achieved? Come on, I sometimes still find it difficult to believe it until I see the pictures of the countries I’ve been to already. I’m lucky to have met complete strangers that changed completely my way of thinking and my way of living my life in a matter of minutes. People who I think made me a better human being. 21 new countries in my list. Probably around 100 cities if I put all my life together. Festivals including Foo Fighters and Tomorrowland. Wanders of the world and many many many flying hours. No complains at all on the adventurous and wild side.

But what about love? It still really amazes me how this chemical reaction in the brain can cause such powerful belief and make you go crazy. But it seems like a curse you know? Every single time I seem to find some peace ka-FUCKING-boom, something ridiculous and unfortunate happens that it just ends it. Sex is not the issue, I’m someone who stopped counting after 15. But love love like actual love is still something quite not well understood for me or at least either I’m too stupid and naive or it seems I still haven’t managed to know how to react to love these days. I’ve been the bad boy, the good boy, the rockstar, the nerd. Today I’m just fucking myself and I don’t give a shit on anything else, I’m authentic, smart and smiley as it can gets. But it is still apparently not enough. From not being capable to go for the ones who like me and appreciate me because I’m simply too stupid, to falling for exactly those who have a sign on their foreheads that say: “trouble”, “I don’t like short men”, “I’m in a relationship”, “I really like you but I won’t do it cuz I don’t know why”. And shit like that. A year where I got my ego somewhat fissured when a significant-crush denied to travel around the world because #fucklogics.

A year where love knocked the door. I’ve had the chance of hanging out and finish up in mutual amusement with incredibly attractive and very interesting girls. Specially one with whom I madly and unexpectedly fell in love with in fucking matter of some weeks because #yolo. I guess what they say about “when it happens, happens” is true. In my naive and obnoxious defense my core felt as I finally found someone with whom I could talk and laugh with random shit until 4 am, talk about smart engineering; someone who expressed her wishes of conquering the world, of going out, of accomplishing dreams and who seemed as crazy and ambitious as myself in similar ways. Someone with whom at the beginning everything looked just like a bad timing situation but in the end it was as real as my lack of beard, but apparently not as strong as I thought, and finished up sunk with me rejected in alcohol and tears for several days without being able to understand the universe. I should have read the signs like the ones aforementioned, but life is like that. Somedays you’re flying and some others you’re crawling. But no failure, no regret at all, it’s another stripe to the tiger. Only a big lesson learned, a drawer for the good moments lived and a new procedure for heart healing preparing it for the next, hopefully not, catastrophe. And to you who wished happiness and success? No need, but I’m truly grateful with you for making me feel such strong and marvelous thing. I keep my position of yourself being as one of the most incredible aspects of my life. I truly hope one day you let yourself understand that no matter how, or why, even when life is entirely weird? My eyes were real, your eyes were real.

For disclosure, this has probably been the most fluctuating year of my entire life, with emotional stuff being the Oscar award winner. And I bloody love it’s like that. It’s intense, it’s unpredictable, it’s crazy. During the last month I have met an insane amount of people from all over the globe. Interesting, insane and some might even as bold as me or more. These 28 years start and promise to be even a greater year than the previous one and I can’t just bloody wait for it.

I am more grateful than ever with my life, literally there are no words to thank enough, other than waking up everyday, look up to the sky, no matter if it’s a sad day, a happy day, an angry day, a bright day, a dark day. It’s for something good and it will always get better; it’s a matter of wanting freedom, of living the present, of wanting to live and not giving a fuck about consequences (sometimes at least) just like 28 years ago. I might be an annoying complainer of emotional things who forgives but who never forgets. Working on that. I could also be an eternal dreamer, a wanderer, a crazy mother fucker living it up. I wish life give me more years to continue living that way.

So to all the magical and far away places that welcomed me with arms wide open, to every fucking equation, simulation, exam and project and specially to literally all the people who went through my life this year who support me and who stand my annoying and obnoxious being. To the new friends, new family members and to the yet to be discovered corners of the world; to the amazing momondo team!; to life and to the universe:

Gracias, gracias por todo, gracias por tanto, gracias por esto.

Wanna conquer the world? Follow me, let’s do it together.

Tomorrowland Brasil 2015

The 27th floor.

27 years old. That age which according to many “standard” opinions of society, you’re supposed to be right in the path of settlement, transforming yourself into a total grown up, combing your hair everyday, having or seeking a good job and of course a stable relationship; some are getting engaged, married, even with kids. FB status and pictures saying “YES” or “I DO” everywhere. It is also a stage where people say stuff to you like “AH you’re just one step closer to the 3rd floor!” or “27? oh god, well do you remember that list of things to do before you become 30?” and my personal favorite “27…and you’re single?”. It is indeed a very annoying social pressure that goes straight onto your shoulders and plays with your mind since it defines you as “old”. My personal opinion? I don’t give a shit about that and ask you to listen “I just want to celebrate” by Rare Earth right now.

Furthermore, by my age, most of the great genius minds of history already discovered and developed revolutionary ideas like gas turbines, black holes and quantum mechanics theories, and made the world a better and more technological place and yeah, as an engineer, when you remember your last job as being 8 hrs. sitting on a chair in front of a computer well…it is sometimes a bit overwhelming; I do want to make the world a better place but…what if there are other ways to do it?

I confess to you my dear “lectores” that I actually had a recent age crisis and a whole emotional breakdown because I did feel totally lost about my “stable” life (back to the point expressed in previous paragraphs). After coming back from the magical wedding of my brother in Mexico, I spent a couple of entire days in the bed watching “heroic” and motivational movies, just eating nutella, using breaks for aeroelasticity HW and figuring out WTF was going on; then the reality kicked in and understood that my absolutely non-conventional way of thinking and living life is grand. In fact, it is just brilliant. Well, sometimes at least.

For me, a birthday is what for others might be new year’s eve. It is a day in which I look back and review what have I done right, what have I done wrong, what I liked, what I didn’t. For me it is a deep reflexion time and helps me to see where I am, and where I want to go. It is also the perfect excuse to party hard and drink my favorite alcohol.

Despite exactly a year ago, a beautiful mexican girl also known as “J” got me drunk and asked me to be her boyfriend for a limited time contract, I won’t bore you with what happened during the last year, and instead, I will focus on some facts about my present and show off a little bit:

Today I live in Stockholm, Sweden, I don’t have a girlfriend, I certainly don’t feel the need of getting married and the kids window has not even being discovered #fuckno. I live with a student scholarship and struggle with it at the end of every month, sometimes have to study 10 hours for a test and get pissed because of a mediocre grade, perform 8 hour aeromechanics simulations while the sun shines outside. Sometimes I dance and move in the subway when I’m in a good mood while listening to Sex Machine of James Brown in my iPod. I have a loud and honest laugh. I sing while walking on the street, smile and wave at strange people and steal coffee from the professor’s machine. I cannot say I’m not open for love, you never know what will happen, but for now let’s say I’m stimulated in knowing interesting people. Out of and in the bed of course.

Sometimes, it looks like I truly don’t care, like I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, like I’m just letting myself go into the mainstream. #honeybadger. Not entirely true though (although sometimes I don’t give a fuck about some people).

I might not be one of the 21st century great minds, not even close, but it is also true that at my 27 years, I’ve had the incredible chance of visiting 14 different countries and more than 50 cities across the world (and counting), I speak 3 different languages fluently and another 3 with good survival skills, I can cook, dance, play 2 instruments, really appreciate exotic and good food and drinks, prepare delicious cocktails, make people smile with simple stuff, have a decent muscled look and have an IQ of 142. I can box, give awesome massages, appreciate good music; I can give mind-blowing kisses, have received mind-blowing kisses and have shared and done some more with international beautiful female beings (physically and emotionally). I even have lived a couple of times during/aftersex,  that eye-look that drills into your soul and makes you feel totally alive and in peace. I live in the country with the most beautiful women of the planet. I am the fucking 3rd mexican of my whole country that studies a program in aeromechanics and turbomachinery and 6th or 7th of the whole american continent. I have survived 2 times to death events and I know what it is to have fear of dying, I cherish my life with all my strength. And I’m convinced Donald Trump is a complete dickhead.

But even beyond all that, even more importantly for me, I know the meaning of true friendship and true brotherhood. I have a family that loves me and supports me as crazy as I am. I might know what true love is, at least close to it (including chocolate cake and tacos). I know what it means to be surrounded by 200,000 people in a massive music festival and also to be totally on my own thousands of km away from everyone I know, and still feel happy and enjoy it. I have fulfilled many of my dreams and won’t stop now. I’ve felt what it means to be happy. I am happy.

I certainly don’t care about having millions of euros in my account, having a nice loft and a porsche at the garage. Even if that sounds nice and might be feasible one day, it’s definitely not the 1st priority of my life now. At my 27 years old, I have learned that living life is about knowing yourself, accepting yourself, loving yourself and just enjoy that ride. Is about waking up, look yourself at the mirror and say “HEY…YOU’RE DAMN HOT” and believe in yourself, believe you can achieve whatever you want, whenever you want. PLUS it is also about sharing. I might have repeated this a thousand times but people, energy is always transferred and if you’re happy about yourself, you will definitely start a contagious effect and people around you will notice and might feel happier about themselves as well. A matter of energy equilibrium. Next time you’re on the street try to make someone truly smile with a simple detail. A smile, a chocolate, a flower. That is my simple and maybe stupid idea of making the world a better place. A happier place.

Today I feel privileged of driving on this road and I’m more than thankful with my life for everything I’ve experienced, everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve learned and of course I know there is way more to come. So today, in my birthday, I invite you to be strange, to be weird, to think outside the box and to think that “life begins at the end of your comfort zone” (Courtesy of “Z”); to take that risk you’re always been afraid of, to fight for that thing that makes you’re heartbeat sound out loud, to pursue your dreams and not give up.

Life is not always bright, in fact it is sometimes a passive aggressive bitch; so for me it is more a matter of looking the brighter and good side of life. That is what makes me happy, and yeah, maybe one day I’ll be able to share my crazy stuff with another crazy partner, keep traveling the world together and look after baby pandas for a day. Even on a far faaar away day I might be holding a baby that carries my DNA and commit my life to that being. But today, just now, I will enjoy my Glenmorangie 18, smile to life and share this happiness with all of you. I do hope you smile back, that celebrate this day with me and for those also having a birthday today, felicidades cabronas y cabrones.

P.S. Free mind-blowing kisses for my birthday.

The one who stopped taking risks, stopped living life.

Anonymus.

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