The thresholds that reminded me I have a heart

During the passing of the years, we human beings face different emotional stages like sadness, happiness, anger, joy, envy, whatever comes to your mind, and as the life line increases, our emotional state stabilizes and remains constant during a certain amount of years. But suddenly for some, these unexpected life peaks change everything as we normally know, feeling as if a massive tsunami is traveling inside the body, sweeping away everything in its path and making us tremble. It feels like it is the limit, like sometimes you cannot take it anymore. I like to call these peaks “life thresholds”.

There are indeed different kind of life thresholds; some are straight forward like getting rejected from your dreams job and still keep the attitude that something better will arrive. Some others are more complex and might come when your life is filled with uncontrollable madness, for instance waking up after a very bad night full of alcohol, drugs and fights that made you realize you need to re-evaluate and recover some peace in yourself; some others come when you are not appreciating your life as beautiful as it is and you need to feel a killer instinct co co combo breaker KO, to prove yourself you’re able to do better and be better; crashing into a running bull at 130 km/h is a good example of this one. But then, one of the most powerful of course is the love/hate/anger one , since you might feel like you’re flying amidst fat fluffy flying cats and whisky fountains and suddenly a huge disappointment takes place and you land at 20x the gravity to the lowest point of oblivion and feel as if a “dementor” drains out all your soul without doing anything about it. #geekness.

Yeah yeah, very dramatic and geek and stupid some might say but… Some of you might perfectly understand what I’m talking about, and will actually agree that this shit is very real.

I also call these “thresholds”, because after this “limit”, everything is unknown and uncertain and no pattern or behavior can actually be predicted. The only sure thing is that there is a notorious change on the life line plot and well, it totally depends on every individual to decide, act and walk to the consequence path that suits the best. Sometimes the fairy tale becomes true and after the darkness, a bright and sunny future awaits, it is always a matter of perspective. And bollocks.

I’d like now to share with you some of those love thresholds that really marked some parts of my life and shaped me on this “last Tlatoani” I am today. #allineedisabeard

So, first of all, despite being a crazy, intense women lover, I’ve only had 3 formal girlfriends, and by that I mean to be together more than 4 months and to be more than a sweaty hand. However, sometimes you require only a couple of weeks to totally fall for someone, burn all your brain circuits and give away a baby gorilla as a present just because is Monday. Equally, I’m not saying that other kind of relationships did not make any effect, I just can’t describe everyone and everything. #Nobodycares. But anyway, these individuals have left sort of a “memorable scar” in me, let’s say in the most notorious way:

1. “L”.  New Yorker. The responsible of me starting this blog. The one who gave me the most intense emotions in the light and the dark side. The one who showed me true partner love, true anger, true sadness, true joy for the first time of my life. After almost 2 years, finished in “good” terms and said good bye in the airport as she returned to her home land about 4 years ago. Kind of the 1st Tsunami I felt inside my body. Havn’t spoken in 3 years and probably we’ll never see each other again.

2. “L”. Italian. Sicilian. The one who taught me that love must be unconditional, total and brave. The only one I’ve been able to fight, discuss and then just laugh together about it. The only one also with whom I felt a bit of jealousy when a guy approached to her. One of the most dramatic persons in the planet that demonstrated me that love requires also a lot of balls and a huge determination to live life as intense as possible. She taught me that sometimes, the smartest idea is the craziest one, and it’s worthy giving it a try. We met recently after 3 years, after many online drama, discussions and  hateful messages and let me tell you, it was a brilliant idea. She’s today one of my very best friends and I’m grateful to have her in my life.

3. “J”. Mexican. She probably doesn’t even realize she is in this amusing blog. We dated only for a couple of months but were never a couple. Madly attracted to her physically. Responsible of me understanding about self love, self happiness and self conscious. It was fun, it was not love, I actually don’t know what it was, but it made me grow as a person by myself. We’re normal friends who exchange fb messages every birthday.

4. “J”. North Mexican. An almost half a year relationship that taught me that dreams can be achieved, and that help and support, specially coming from your partner, is sometimes exactly what you need in order to achieve those dreams. Responsible of me learning the meaning of “happiness is only true when shared”. Responsible of giving me that last and most important thrust to my engine and fly to where I am today. The one who had that look that drilled directly into my soul and destroyed all my barriers, knowing who I am and what I’m capable of, and stayed. We broke up because I came to Sweden, in search of my dreams, of a new life, of a better me. She is one of my life columns and best friends. I’m almost sure we won’t see each other, at least in a very long time. She knows it too. But then again, life is like a box of chocolates.

Funny letter pattern uh?

Through all my life I’ve been the cheesy and corny guy, the “too good to be your girlfriend” guy, the asshole who likes every girl guy, the guy who cheats, the guy gets cheated on, the “you’re the most insensitive” guy and the “you’re fucking amazing and also in the bed” guy. Life situations that have taken me to a crazy ride, some good decisions, some fucked up ones as well, but everything allowed me to grow not only as a lover but also as a man, as a person. Situations that for good or for worse, allowed me to expand my mind and to know amazing and fucked up people to live fantastic stuff.

I’m not even close to be perfect and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Imperfection is what makes us love, live and get together. Is what gives us life thresholds and makes us react to them, makes us to surpass that limit.

Signals are everywhere. (Like in the cup of coffee. I took the picture btw). Have you had this type of experiences? Don’t ever stop. You have not and you’re looking for the million pounds solution? Get a mirror, take a good look right into the eye and smile back.

My heart beats loud when I do it.

What do you feel? Maybe a life threshold?

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.

Forrest Gump. 

Advertisements

The Aeroelastic St.Valentine

In one of the lectures of Advanced Fluid Dynamics, the professor had an analogy linking fluid dynamics with how human beings interact with everything in daily life, for example, the mechanism of breathing and how the air interacts with the nose, the lungs, the blood, the brain. Pure fluid dynamics

As I have learned during the last 7 months, aeroelasticity is the study of how a fluid changes when being subjected by aerodynamic and structural forces and further study fields include the impact of this interaction so that we, as engineers, can be able to predict certain behaviours and cover proper design/operation criteria. #trustmeImanengineer

On the other hand, St. Valentine day is worldwide commonly known as to be that day designed to spent it with your significant other/love partner/sex buddy and demonstrate how good you are at fucking loving and showing your feelings.

But wait, what the hell does one of these have to do with each other? EVERYTHING. Human beings pass their lives striving in the search of a person who can support and stand strong after experiencing the worse emotional part of us and of course after looking at a post-party naked version of ourselves. The point being, that we interact with other people, exchange opinions and sweat, encounter chemical reactions and even discover new features under certain life scenarios for better or for worse. Social relationships become really complex; just like aeroelasticity.

I have always found social/sex/loving relationships very interesting. The way people  find themselves comfortable in the company of others either with similar or totally radical ways of thinking, culture, religion, country, skin color, proffesion, age, gender and the most random reasons that may occur to you. It is even more interesting and even “worrying” how social media nowadays has a H-U-G-E impact in people’s daily life. I feel I’m lucky enough to state that in my younger days, I felt the adrenaline running through my veins when having to call the girl I was interested in and her dad would pick up the phone instead of her. A man with real balls. Today however, the challenge has changed since now you need to be creative enough in a chat conversation and manifest the image of an impeccable, hot asset for that person reading the message. A man with cyber balls.

My St. Valentine experiences vary from the romantic and corny gift full of rose petals, dinners and teddy bears (#awww), to creative dates, true love statements and hot-dirty sex scenarios. But this year is somehow “unusual”.

I must admit that over time I have developed some good “player” skills and I’m able to establish an interesting and fun enough conversation with most of the girls. Before coming to Sweden, I also must admit that I had the oh so naive idea that I would be physically, exotically attractive to the female gender of this region. You know, a very typical latin charming person with salsa dance moves. Well, that was a bit wrong. It is true that the scandinavian population is just physically fucking attractive, but (I must declare that in MY and only MY experience) so far I’ve sensed fucking iceberg type of hearts reserved people, which makes it a little bit more difficult to share my body feelings in a romantic way.

I will also declare that as per my personal sexual preferences, I think I have seen my corporally fulfilled dream girl, more than once, walking around the city, on the subway, etc. I have even met and hung out a couple of times with individuals among this rank but for my bad or good luck I haven’t even been able to kiss a single one (scandinavians). Yet. Now I emphasise kissing, since for those lucky enough to have experienced a country in latinamerica, kissing is one of the most common sports of society. Kissing on the street, in the club, in the bar, in the corridor, even in the classroom. It’s a perfect calorie burner, makes people smile and grants you an awesome mood. Let’s not even discuss sex.

Don’t get me worng, it’s not that I’m worried or urged at all, I am that guy who is relaxed and enjoys the ride, but I just want to point out that in my time here, I have learned (at least that’s what I would like to think) that in comparison with latinoamerican places, intercourse kissing seems to be a private action reserved for those “lucky” ones who showed true game and established a very solid confidence-attraction level and that went ahead through the unbreakable scandinavian social barrier, while at least in my country 75% of the times, mezcal and a couple of beers make miracles in the name of science and love. (#mezcalislife)

But not everything is lost my pueblo querido. Life has taught me that forcing any kind of relationship is never a good idea. Perserverance and will is definitely NOT the same as stubbornness and obsession, despite the very thin line between the two; however I consider it important to be open minded and brave enough to live radically, take risks and leaps of faith, for instance feeling like walking on a rainbow in the midst of unicorns and fat flying cats while holding the sweaty hand of that person, or feeling like being dragged into the River Styx by the very same god of the oblivion because you found out that the special person just cheated on you. Experiences that make you grow as a person.

Aeroelasticity as well as love is supposed to be iterative, interesting and fucking complex; sometimes with desired outcomes, sometimes with total chaos – it’s in their nature. But in the end I think it’s all a matter of attitude and perspective; combining all the possible variables of the equations, learning about yourself and being courageous enough to accept our emotional reality might grant us a beam of what to do or where to go. Life is this crazy and marvelous ride that gives and takes away people from our sight everyday so let’s go for it! Then, days like St. Valentine are the perfect excuse to be obnoxious enough and break on through to the other side.

So I certainly hope that you, those of my locos readers dating someone, share unforgettable love moments and have amazing and magical sex. And if single, go to a spa, eat your favourite meal, look yourself into the mirror and smile for that hottie you’re seeing. Do whatever makes you happy and keep that smile all day long, and if you like the outcome, imagine what would happen if we try to be like this everyday.

Feliz día del amor y de la amistad cabronas y cabrones.

P.S. The coupon below is valid btw.

Ja-haaa!

back-massage-sex-love-coupon-valentines-day-funny-ecard-HYH

 

23

The title looks like the next Adele CD album but anyway.

So the day has come.

Im not one of those persons who make a big deal about the birthdays. In fact, i’ve just made a party once in my life about my birthday, when i was 20, pretty cool actually, but i just prefer going out with some friends, drink, dance, rock music, and thats it.

Ok i must add that my last birthday was one of the greatest in my life, cuz a gorgeuos New Yorker who i love made a romantic dinner with jamon serrano, tortelini (or maybe ravioli), wine, an amazing kiss and a fantastic session of passionate sex and love.

However this year will be kindda different.

Once a person told me that becoming 23 its kinda big deal, cuz its the time when you are suppose to know what to do in life and bla bla bla (stuff full of boring routine). A great friend of mine told me also that 23 its suppose to be the perfect number, according to some mathematical-logical-philosophical thing. Michael Jordan wore the 23 on his shirt. Christopher McCandless from the book “Into the wild” was 23 when he was in the middle of nowhere having a fucking cool life experience.

Having a summary of cool things i remember have done and lived until now are:

  • 1993 – Entering school. Threatening the teacher of eating spinach like Popeye and punch her in the face.
  • 1994 – 1995 – Best rookie athlete on long jump and sprint running.
  • 1996 – The year i met Rock music.
  • 1997 – First time i went to Cancun, fell in love with the white sand and the goddamn blue turquoise sea.
  • 1998 – Orlando Florida, Disneyworld. I cried when i met Mickey Mouse.
  • 1999 – Mother fucker strong earthquake in Puebla. In the bathroom. One of the most scary days of my life.
  • 2000 – Ruta Maya tour with the family.
  • 2001 – 2002 – Award of best basketball player in school.
  • 2003 – First girlfriend. First kiss. First true erection because of female boobs.
  • 2004 – First time since kindergarden that i went back into track and field again. Best rookie on the state championship winning 2nd place on my 1st year of competition.
  • 2005-2006 – Exchange year. Germany. Europe. A year where i learned how to smoke cigarettes and weed. Drugs. Alcohol. Hot Females. The year i lost my virginity. Eternal walks through the magical european places. Met awesome people, made awesome friends. Became a professional thief accumulating a bill of 1235 euros and finally got caught by the police for stealing an iPod case of 2.5 euros. Being excused by the judge and paid a 30 euros fine.   First blackout for alcohol. More alcohol. First time i saw snow and tried to eat it. First and only time ive snowboarded and fell in love with it.
  • 2007 – Got my driver license. 2 hours later crashed the car. Met my best mate JC.
  • 2008 – Graduated from highschool. Entered college.
  • 2009 – Spent the night in police jail for running over a guy. (Nothing happened to him, actually he tried to take money from my parents later) Worst night of my life.  But also there’s the AC/DC concert, Mexico City Foro Sol. Cried when i heared highway to hell. One of the most fucking great nights in my life.
  • 2010 – November 26th. Met the lady that would change my life.
  • -Iron Maiden Concert (freaking awesome).
  • 2011 – Fell in love for the first time with a beautiful girl from Hastings on Hudson New York. Met real happiness. Started to live again. New Years Eve in New York City.

2012 hasnt been thaaaat bad so far. I mean yeah i had a depressive good bye scene on an airport but i know ill be with her again eventually. Beyond that, and the facts that there was another earthquake last week and that there may be a zombie apocalypse, well this looks like a fresh year. Im going to the Metallica concert. Also im suppose to be graduated on december of this year, so maybe it is the year of having extreme fun, of learning new stuff and grow up on the fun and cool way.

So tomorrow i will just enjoy drinking beers and some tequila shots with my friends, and ill receive this 23 with arms wide open.

As my favourite person in the world would say:

“Vamos a veeeeer, vamos a veeeeeeeer”

Happy birthday to all the other persons who were born on the 28th of march!